25Oct '14
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A MST3K Halloween – Squirm

Day 4’s film Squirm is brought to you by the deep, deep South.

How bad is it? 4.4/10 on IMDB. I have no idea how it got rated that high.

Why is it so bad? The big bad monsters in this movie are…earthworms. A lot of earthworms turned into flesh-eaters after being electrocuted. I’m not sure how that works either. “C’mon, no one’s that Southern.” The antiquing city-slicker gets knocked out by a flimsy sheet of particle board (and he’s the hero of the movie). After the extensive searching for Mr. Beardsly, the couple finds a skeleton in his yard…and have no idea who it could be. Creepy children’s songs. The line “You gonna be da’ worm face!”

Watch it all on YouTube, plus the bonus short A Case of Spring Fever, which turns out to be more terrifying than Squirm.

24Oct '14
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A MST3K Halloween – Hobgoblins

Riding the wave of ’80s Gremlins rip-offs is Hobgoblins, our film for Day 3.

How bad is it? 2.3/10 on IMDB. I’m surprised it’s even that high.

Why is it so bad? A group of hobgolins are stuffed into a tiny flying saucer that happens to crash land in a movie studio parking lot. Somehow, they can kill you with your fantasies and boy do the main characters have some strange ones. The solution? Put them in an old movie vault that anyone can and will get into. An exciting fight with garden rakes! The hobgoblins escape on a golf cart. Awful, awful ’80s dancing. One of the couples do it every chance they have like a pair of rabbits on cocaine (thankfully offscreen). There’s a place in the movie called “Club Scum”. And of course the answer to everything is the long-standing movie tradition of…explosives.

Watch the whole thing on YouTube!

23Oct '14
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A MST3K Halloween – The Creeping Terror

For Day 2 of our “scary” MST3K movies, we have the monster movie The Creeping Terror.

How bad is it? 2.1/10 on IMDB. It beats Werewolf though!

Why is it so bad? The director’s idea of “space age technology” is lots of dials and meters. Whole walls of them. The thing that makes this movie so horrible though is the star of the show: the monster. It looks like a pile of discarded carpets that came to life, and its shape is uh…interesting. It hasn’t mastered the art of walking it seems so it has got to be THE slowest monster in existence. “Creeping” is really an apt description of it. It’s so slow that the only way it catches its victims is when they throw themselves into its mouth. I almost feel sorry for the movie makers because rumor has it that they had a much more impressive monster built for this movie but it was stolen a few days before shooting began. I say “almost” because they then decided that throwing together this carpet monstrosity was good enough and filmed anyways.

Want to watch the whole thing? It’s on YouTube!

22Oct '14
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A MST3K Halloween – Werewolf

I love bad movies. Not the ones that are so boring that they put you to sleep, but the ones are done so horribly that you can’t help but laugh at them. So it shouldn’t be surprising that I’m a huge of Mystery Science Theater 3000.

MST3K took bad movies and made them better (worse?) by adding jokes and hilarious commentary that make them worth watching. It ran for 11 seasons, totaling in 197 episodes, because there are a LOT of horrible movies out there. Since one of their favorite genres was “horror” (and I use that term loosely when describing these movies), I think it would be appropriate to feature some of them for Halloween. Let’s say 10 movies over 10 days. This should be fun. 😉

For Day 1, we have one of my favorites: Werewolf.

How bad is it? 1.6/10 on IMDB

Why is it so bad? The characters seem to be incapable of pronouncing “werewolf” correctly and even change how they say it from scene to scene. Despite the fact that the first werewolf is deader than a door nail (it’s just a skeleton), even getting the smallest scratch from it results in the person turning into a werewolf. Yuri’s hair style changes every time that he appears on the screen. Joe Estevez (Martin Sheen’s brother) appears for the first half hour of the movie and is never seen again. One woman being chased by a werewolf has plenty of time to get away, but she somehow manages to stumble into a shallow mud puddle in the middle of the desert and just lays there screaming instead. A car drives into a stack of barrels placed in the middle of an empty parking lot and explodes because…reasons. And finally, the phrase “sleeping nose to anus”.

If you haven’t seen Werewolf yet, you’re in luck! The entire MST3K episode is on YouTube. Enjoy!

15Oct '14
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Tune Den: Wurm Online

With the amount of Wurm Online-related posts I make, I think we all knew this was going to come eventually.

I mentioned briefly that I almost never turn off in-game music when I’m playing. Wurm Online is the one exception to this rule. One of the reasons is that it’s not a constant stream that plays in the background but instead tracks are played at random times that aren’t triggered by anything in-game. The other reason is that I often have multiple clients open when I play (multiboxing my characters). Overlapping music isn’t very nice to the ears.

So far, the soundtrack is made up of 2 albums with 7 tracks each, all of it created by Tom E Morrison. It’s not like the usual fantasy music, but instead seems to be some combination of meditation and contemporary/world genres. I’m really terribly at identifying music types. You really have to listen to some of the songs to understand. Which is why I’ll include my two favorite tracks here.

Read more →

12Oct '14
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Showcasing settlements in Wurm Online

On Friday, Wurm Online published a cool little video about the settlement of Newspring. It looks to be the first episode of a series called “Wurm World News – Emergent Stories”, which will be about the players of the game, also known as Wurmians.

I think this is a great idea. The devs have created some amazing tools and mechanics for this sandbox world, but it’s the players that come up with awesome ways to use them. Since there’s not much in the way quests, storyline, end game, or pre-made structures, Wurmians are a vital part of making the world come alive. They aid each other (or fight one another), make up the vast majority of trade and economy, and create their own events such as the ever popular Impalong. The devs provide us with wild lands to be shaped and developed, and boy do we do that.

I’ve never been to Newspring myself but I’m quite impressed with what they’ve accomplished so far. And having 200+ citizens in a game where the average population online at any time is about 1000…that’s pretty awe inspiring. I don’t know if I’ve ever heard of a village that large. It is located on Xanadu which is turning out to be a very popular server, so if it would happen anywhere, it’s there.

The editing of the video was done rather well and they made the right choice when they picked Stormray to narrate the portion about Newspring. He does a fantastic job.

So without further ado, here’s the video:

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